​You can live your own style

​You can live your own style

An artist is a person who creates his or her own unique style. They are storytellers who use the medium of painting to tell the world the messages they discover through paintings. They spend most of their lives reflecting on themselves through art, finding profound messages, and trying to express the realizations and reflection. Therefore, when people look at their artworks and feel immersive energy, they are moved. Because of this aspect, I define a painting as an invitation to space rather than simply a flat surface. And as you paint as an artist, you learn to pursue different styles and respect and acknowledge others. This is the biggest benefit I've gotten from painting. This symbiosis with art is not just a journey of self-discovery but also an evolution of empathy and appreciation—a profound gift bestowed by the canvas.

We all have the right to live in our own style, whether through painting or not. And within these rights, we must respect others and their tastes and preferences. Because no one in the world is perfect and no one can tell you the right answer. I believe that painting gives us the opportunity to encounter this diversity.

As I meet people, I also meet people who are fixed on one ideology, value, and style. One woman even tried to control my life and style by directly telling me not to date people from certain countries. People with these characteristics believe that they are unconditionally right and ‘point out and criticize’ other people’s styles to fit their own. I don’t hesitate to use future faking, saying that if I listen to myself carefully, ‘good things’ will happen. Every time I hear this, I respond like this. ‘I’m old enough to make decisions so I can take care of it by myself without your advice.’ Then, I realized that there is a certain feeling of ‘anger’ that cannot be expressed in the eyes of people with these characteristics. But I don't mind. I am not close to these types of people. I can meet as many people as I want, and I also have the freedom not to have deep relationships with these people.

In this respect, as I meet people in my life, I find people who seem more like artists than artists. Statistics actually say that artists have narcissism and are trapped within themselves. However, I have had many experiences where these statistics are unfair. Still, I make no excuses. Because I believe that allowing people of that style to live that style is also the freedom they should have. This is in no way something I can control. I just respect it. So, when I meet people who are more like artists than artists, I sometimes think about whether that person's life would have been easier if they had turned this kind of self-centered fantasy into art.

The narcissists I met had something very common. They easily say things like ‘ignore and disrespect’. This word is the standard by which I distinguish the narcissists around me, and I have applied it well for a very long time. Strangely enough, narcissists have a pattern, so the presence of these words is very helpful. As we interact with people throughout our lives, we create many experiences, stories, and episodes. If only good and beautiful things happened in human relationships, we would be extremely happy, but even though relationships are deep, conflicts and difficulties always arise. But I always meet two types of people. There is a Korean proverb that says, ‘The ground becomes harder after it rains.’ This means that when difficulties or trials arise, we become stronger on the inside and deepen our relationships. If you look at the human relationships around you, there is a relationship where the ground becomes harder when it rains. However, when it rains, it quickly turns into muddy water, which makes relationships even worse, and through this, we can see the evil nature of humans and become surprised or disappointed. So, I tend to observe people’s behavior patterns after it rains like this. This is one of the habits I developed automatically after suffering from narcissists for a long time and breaking away from them.

When it rains heavily, that is, when there is a conflict, ordinary people consider each other's position from their side. Then, we can discuss how you could stand in the other person's shoes, sympathize with them, and share your feelings. As they do this, they get to know each other more deeply and their relationship becomes deeper. Through these times and events, you can see and respect the other person's deep feelings and attitudes that you did not know during times of peace. And we can watch out for each other so that it doesn't happen again. I am deeply grateful that we are looking out for each other. Their relationship grows deeper.

However, the relationship with the people who make mud after the rain is a very different picture. They are always right but accuse the other person of being wrong. Above all, they secondarily attack the other person's meaningless and inadequate actions by packaging them with words such as 'ignorance and rudeness' or 'threats and attacks.' When they use these words, the uncomfortable feelings the other person may feel are not taken into consideration at all. So when I hear these subjective and emotional words, I think about the relationship again. In particular, if I hear these words even though I am not deep enough to hear them, I can find an alarm ringing in my heart. The average person knows that if they think someone is really ignoring them or being rude, they can just naturally walk away. Is there a need to convey this directly to the other person? In fact, they really don't realize that talking to the other person like this is really ignoring the other person and treating them rudely.

And you must know that pointing out the other person's unique personality and style is an act of 'ignoring' the other person.  More and more, you realize how important it is to recognize your worth, truly love yourself, and acknowledge others. This is more important than me winning awards, being first, and being successful. Because we have to live together.

I am not a perfect human being either. I made a lot of mistakes and I still have a lot to learn. And I don't always think I'm right or right. However, through several episodes, we discover that it is important to protect one's value as an artist and as a human being and to have one's standards. And when we live with people who are lacking, we learn that ‘empathy’ and ‘reflection’ are important virtues.

Diversity, 2024