​Me Who Lived Like Fire, and the Water of Art
​
A while ago, I saw a graph that visually showed the flow of my life.
In Eastern philosophy, human temperament is explained by the five natural forces—fire, earth, metal, water, and wood.
It was a graph that showed how strongly each of those five energies was established within me.

Surprisingly, the energy of ‘fire’ was so strong within me,
and there was almost no energy of ‘water’ to cool and circulate the fire.
Ah, I thought, I have really been living a life that just kept burning.

​Sword and Fire Inside Me

Another interesting thing is that I also have a cold and sharp metal energy inside me.
When fire and metal meet in nature, they hurt each other.
Fire melts metal, and metal cuts fire.
They are so different that they collide when they meet.

I know that very well.
It burns hot and sharp,

Maybe fire and sword were fighting inside me. At this time, the sword means logic and organization. In other words, it is like a warm candle, but there is a cool-headed thinking ability inside.

But I didn't have water.
​
I needed something to moderate the fight.
That was the energy of 'water'.
When fire meets water, it doesn't overheat,
and metal becomes a cold but beautiful jewel.

But I didn't have water inside me.
So I often got tired,
I couldn't express my feelings in words,
and I lived like someone who was slowly burning out.

​So I started drawing
One day, I started drawing.
At first, it was just good, and it made me feel comfortable.
Then, at some point, I realized.
This wasn't just a hobby, it was a way to live for me.

The stories I couldn't tell in words,
The emotions I had buried deep inside my heart
flowed out naturally in my drawings.
Drawing was like 'water' to me.

​I purified myself with art
My heart, which had been hot and sharp,
became softer little by little as it met the flow of painting.
The burning energy no longer burned me,
but became a light that illuminated me. And that energy tempered the gold inside me.

Only then did I realize.
Art was not a choice, but survival.
If I hadn't painted,
I might have had to live as something other than myself.

​Now it's starting to flow little by little
My mind has become much lighter recently.
I can take care of myself by drawing at my own pace, without pushing myself as hard as I used to.
I think I've finally found 'flow' in my life.

Now I'm no longer someone who holds on by force,
but someone who lives by purifying the fire and metal inside me with art.

Art was my essence,
and now it's time to live with that essence.

​Why I Had to Live as an Artist
Everyone has their own way of living.
Some people are good at talking,
Some are good at taking care of others,
Some feel secure in organizing and planning.

I was a little different.
I always had hot emotions inside me.
When I got absorbed in something, I had to see it through to the end,
And I was someone who lived with a single hurtful word for days.

​If it weren't for painting, I might have died.

At that time, I started painting.

I poured out emotions that could not be explained in words,
with a brush, with colors, on paper.

Surprisingly,
after painting, I felt alive.

It was as if my emotions had found a channel,
and the weight deep inside my heart was slowly released.

I knew then.

This was not a hobby or an expression,
but a way for me to survive.

​Painting is a mirror that reflects me, and the water that keeps me alive
The reason I had no choice but to do art is simple.

Painting was the only tool to deal with the complex and intense world inside me.

For me, art

was a way to relieve emotions,

a breathing hole that kept the balance of life,

and at the same time, the only bridge that could reach other people's hearts.

Perhaps this was a small and quiet mission given to me.

To comfort people's hearts with color rather than words, with temperature rather than theory.

My mission is not to "draw well" but to "draw the real thing."
I now know.

Living as an artist
is not about becoming "a person who draws well"
but about becoming "a person who can draw my true emotions, my true story."

Drawing is the balance of my life,
the alchemy that turns the wounds inside me into light,
and the reason I've been able to endure until now
and the reason I'll continue to live.

​That's why I have to live as an artist.
Art is not a choice for me,
but an instinct, a destiny, and a path to recovery.

I pick up my brush today,
and pour a piece of emotion that cannot be explained in words onto the paper.

And if that painting
can be a small comfort to someone --
that's why I live as an artist.

​When we are born into this world, we face these questions at some point.
“Why was I born?”
“How should I live?”

When we are busy or wander around in a listless daily life,
we suddenly realize that
even though we know a lot and live our lives, we do not really know ourselves.

What do I like?
What colors, foods, and travel destinations do I prefer?
Beyond such superficial tastes,

What kind of person do I have as an essence?
How does the energy inside me flow?

Driven by these questions, I started studying Eastern philosophy.
In the past, I considered fortune telling to be a superstition and did not believe in fatalism.
I was independent and strong-minded, so I hated relying on something.

However, this year, after experiencing a deep burnout, I began to look back on the things I had been missing.
When people only look outward, they easily become exhausted, discouraged, and lonely. However, when we focus on our inner energy, explore and understand ourselves,
only then do we recover, become stronger, and free.

I felt this experience more clearly through the act of drawing.
That is why I am still drawing,
and I strongly recommend art activities as one of the most effective ways to recover your true self.

The first clue to knowing myself: “My birthday”
So where can I start to explore my essence?

The answer is close by.
It is my birthday, the time of my birth.

The very moment we first connect with the world,
The energy of that space and time forms our existence.

Life after that is a journey to realize and harmonize that essence.

So, I began a journey to find my ‘true self’ by looking at the essence contained in my birth date through the lens of Cosmic blueprint.

This energy has the following characteristics:

It is righteous and sensitive to essence,

It has strong insight to distinguish between the real and the fake,

It values ​​principles and essence over emotions.

It is delicate and pure on the inside, but it looks hard and sharp on the outside.

People with this tendency often clash with the world or experience loneliness,

But their essence is someone who tries to live a life connected to true values.

​Painting and Essence, and Me

This painting I drew also symbolizes my spiritual essence.
A lump that silently shines even in a dark background,
It felt like an act of taking out my inner self and putting it in the light.

It may look hard and heavy on the outside,
but when the light touches it, the warmth and potential hidden inside are revealed.
I unconsciously drew this painting before I explored this essence.

Once we begin to understand our essence,
we also start to understand why we are drawn to certain things--
whether it be a color, a piece of music, a place, or a person.

We realize that these are not random preferences,
but resonances with the energy that already lives within us.

We begin to sense the vibrational patterns of our surroundings--
which environments nourish us,
which people drain or empower us,
and why certain dynamics either feel natural or deeply uncomfortable.
Most powerfully, we start to understand the reasons behind conflicts with others.
These are not always just personality differences or misunderstandings.
They often stem from clashes between essential energies,
from mismatched ways of processing the world.

And as we follow the thread of our true nature,
we begin to uncover the mission quietly hidden within it--
the reason we are meant to live this life.
Knowing this brings profound clarity.
​
Life is no longer a series of random events or external pressures,
but rather a conscious journey toward alignment with who we truly are.

That is why exploring our own essence and energy
is such a vital process—especially for those of us
who are exhausted from constantly looking outward,
trying to keep up with the pace of other people’s lives.
In a world that pulls our attention in every direction,
this inward journey is not a luxury—it is a necessity.
It is how we return to ourselves.
​
How we remember who we are.

And this is where art becomes essential--
as a practice of shaping, preserving, and releasing our essence into the world.
Art is not merely about aesthetics or expression;
it is the visible trace of an invisible inner process--
the way we translate energy into form, emotion into texture, and truth into line.

This is what art is for me now:
a quiet yet persistent act of meaning-making.
A way of channeling who I am—through my hands, through color, through silence—into the fabric of the world.
​
In a time when so many feel unrooted, reactive, and unseen,
to know one's essence and live it through art is both an offering and a resistance.
It is how I return to myself, and how I hope others might find themselves, too.

As I explored my own elemental nature, I came to see how powerful it is to let the unconscious speak.
​
So I encourage you, too--
try drawing your inner essence.
Not with the intention to impress, but to understand.
You may be surprised by what you already know, deep within yourself.
Because sometimes, your hand knows your truth before your mind does.

​There is another, perhaps even more important reason why knowing your essence matters.
When you begin to truly recognize and accept your core being,
you come to a profound realization:
you are already enough—just as you are.
You are inherently valuable, not because of what you achieve or display,
but because your existence itself carries meaning and weight.
In that awareness, the need for external decoration begins to fall away.
You stop chasing validation through appearance, performance, or perfection.
Instead, you start listening more closely to what you truly need.
Not what the world says you should want,
but what your essence quietly longs for.
To know your essence is to return home to yourself.
It is the beginning of living—not from expectation, but from alignment.

​And when we truly reconnect with our essence,
we no longer need to sparkle with artificial light.
We don’t have to decorate ourselves with illusions or overcompensate for what we think we lack.
Because when your energy aligns with your true nature,
it begins to shine—not loudly, but unmistakably.
In my own experience, even when I said nothing--
even when I tried to hide or downplay my presence--
someone would still notice.
Because authenticity has a frequency.
It cannot be silenced.
​
When we are aligned with who we are, our presence speaks louder than our words.
This is yet another reason why cultivating a pure, grounded vibration matters.
Because the universe itself is a vast energetic field,
constantly responding to the frequencies we emit.
In such a world, the greatest act of influence is not what we say or show,
but what we resonate.

And beyond the personal, this realization carries a greater truth:
even though we are just individuals,
we each have a responsibility to cultivate good energy.
​
Why?
Because like the butterfly effect,
even the smallest vibration of kindness, sincerity, or presence
can ripple outward and change the fabric of the world in subtle, yet profound ways.
Our frequency is not confined to us.
It radiates—through our words, our silences, our choices, and our presence.
When we align with our essence and choose to hold a good vibration,
we participate in the quiet transformation of the world.

This is not idealism.
This is energetic reality.
In a universe made of waves and resonance,
to be true and kind is to be powerful.

​And to me, this is the very essence of art—at least as I understand it as an artist.
Art is not merely a skill or a product.
It is a tuning process.
A sacred act of aligning with the frequencies of the universe,
and then giving form to what we receive.
When we create from a place of inner clarity, presence, and honesty,
we don’t just make things—we transmit something deeper.
Something that speaks to others not through explanation,
but through resonance.
In this way, artistic expression becomes a form of energetic communication.
It is how we listen inward, reach outward, and bridge the two.
It is how we remember that beauty is not decoration--
it is alignment.

​I’ve always been drawn to the biblical metaphor of refined gold.
Perhaps it’s because the creative process often feels just like that--
a raw piece of gold placed in the furnace.
It doesn’t matter whether the world recognizes it or not.
True art is forged in fire.
It is the result of years of quiet endurance, pain, discipline, and unseen labor.
Who can truly understand the artist’s solitude,
the invisible cost of giving one's soul to a form, a color, a line?
And yet--artists know.
We know exactly what it means to be refined—not polished, but purified.
Not for show, but for truth.
Art, at its deepest, is not about being seen.
It is about becoming.
And in becoming, we offer something honest--
not glittering for attention, but glowing with essence.
Like pure gold that has withstood the fire.

I have been hurt by harsh words from people I loved. Why did they say such things in those moments? I invited some elders with heartfelt excitement and longing, hoping to show them my life in America. But one of them looked around and said, "So you're wasting your life here."

She often planted sharp thorns in people’s hearts with her words. It became so common that no one questioned it anymore. Every time she opened her mouth, someone ended up wounded. One day, I realized I could no longer face her directly. It was a natural response. But even as time passed, the contrast between my sincere intentions and her cold reaction continued to sadden me. I was hurt because I offered warmth, and what I received was dismissal and disdain.

This is only one example. Throughout life, we encounter people whose twisted minds and words clash painfully with our hearts. Sometimes, living with kindness feels like a disadvantage in a world that distorts everything. Such people, after twisting every situation, turn and say, “You’re the one with a twisted mind.”

Over time, I began to see the truth. I came to understand who was really distorting reality. I began to feel pity for her. Her life—one that caused pain while constantly positioning herself as the victim—offered me a powerful lesson.

We are all imperfect. Anyone can unintentionally hurt others. Actions driven by fear and insecurity can leave scars. But within that pain, if we communicate sincerely, we can move toward healing. Unfortunately, the world isn’t always open to this. It divides people into right and wrong and refuses to hear voices outside the accepted “truth.” In a world obsessed with competition and achievement, real connection is rare, and so everyone gets hurt.

That’s why I believe in art. Art has the power to cool down this overheated world. Today, I looked at one of my paintings—a piece that missed the exhibition deadline. It featured a vivid red flower standing tall in the wind and rain. Despite the storm, it danced like a shaman, unwavering in its beauty.

Through this painting, I found deep comfort. Why had I been painting to show others? I should have painted for myself. This flower, like me, holds a beautiful and empathetic spirit, even after being battered by life. I realized I must not let myself be broken.

If you are reading this and feel too wounded by the world’s cruelty and distorted language to continue, I hope you will look at this flower with me. See it. Your beauty cannot be broken. No matter how much others try to cover you with dirt, you are still a flower. The storm will wash you clean, and your brilliance will shine even more.
​
Believe in yourself. The cruel words and warped messages you’ve received were never yours to carry. They came from others’ darkness. Never let them define you.
Smile. Create. And be happy today. You deserve it.

​Recently, my work was exhibited at the “Winners Showcase Fine Art Exhibition” held at Mills Pond Gallery.

It was featured in a local newspaper and captured in a photograph, and as an artist, that moment was a very overwhelming and grateful experience.

This exhibition was more than just a simple gallery exhibition; it was a place where the award-winning artists from the past year gathered together to showcase their works. The exhibition, in which nine award-winning artists participated, showcased the “depth and diversity of local art” through various media such as oil painting, watercolor painting, sculpture, and digital drawing.

My work was particularly themed on the vitality and flow of emotions that bloom in nature. I wanted to express the “movement” and “energy” contained in the painting, rather than simply reproducing objects through painting. In particular, this painting depicting the moment of the dancing fish Beta symbolically captures freedom, emotion, and the cycle of life.

When I saw my work in a newspaper article, I felt that the things I had been thinking about and trying through painting had reached someone. Art is often a solitary journey, but the fact that a small piece of that journey can be shared in a public space is very meaningful.

In the future, I want to continue to draw the world with a quiet but sincere gaze, and draw pictures that do not miss even the smallest emotional movements.

“For the Next Leap as an Artist”

Every time I exhibit my artwork, I find myself facing a quiet but powerful question:
“Have I grown since last year?”
It’s not just about producing something technically better--
It’s about creating something that reflects the way I’ve changed, evolved, and deepened as a person and an artist.

Art, to me, is an ongoing journey of renewal.
All the time I’ve spent trying to become a better version of myself—the long hours, the moments of doubt, the restless revisions, the quiet perseverance--
I want all of it to mean something, to leave a lasting impact, no matter how subtle.
So I gave this work everything I could.

I poured into it my energy, my emotions, my growth, and my hard-won understanding.

It may not be perfect—but it is authentic, and I’m truly satisfied with what I’ve created.
And I believe--
Each small effort, each quiet push forward, becomes the foundation for the next great leap.
​
That next leap may not be higher, but it will be deeper in meaning, broader in resonance, and truer to who I am.
With that belief, I pick up my brush again, steady my heart, and step into the next phase of the journey.

​One of the greatest joys in life as an artist is the moment when my work is ‘seen’ by the world, and the moment when I am certain that I may have made a small impact on someone through that exposure.

For over 10 years, I have been consistently creating in this area.
The quiet, sincere, and ceaseless progress has piled up, and at some point, the fruits of my labor began to show.

I feel it every time my work is introduced in the local newspaper.

“Ah, my art is not just my own work, but is connected to the community.”

When someone reads the article, takes interest, visits the exhibition, and sometimes even starts a conversation,
all of those moments mean more to me than just exposure.

It is as if I am realizing that I am a small part of this area, contributing culturally,
and confirming my belief that art can play a role in the public sphere.

My life as a local artist quietly teaches me that being firmly rooted in the world is not about flashy growth,
but about maintaining that place and blooming steadily.

Exposure is not simply 'being seen',
it is a record of my presence,
it is proof that I was meaningful to someone.

And that is where I feel deep joy as an artist.