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  Myungja Anna Koh

Art is    a     prayer
                     mission
                      promise
                           soul for me

First impression

5/18/2021

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 One of my routines is to bring my child to the playground as soon as school is over. Thankfully, it brings me little jewel-like joy when I asked and had small talk with parents who watch their children playing. 

 In Korea, someone asks something to others without reason, and they are treated as strange people.  That's why Korean usually reluctant to talk to street persons who they don't know before. To do that, they have some purpose of selling things or mission work to say "Trust in Jesus." 

 But, in America, small talk is familiar scenery anywhere, that I think it's an excellent way to expand our range of interests, activities, and knowledge. 
 Every so often, I meet a person who has the same situation as an immigrant. And then I am pleased to ask what is the impression of America. To that question, many people give different answers depending on their own unique experiences, backgrounds, opinions, and cultures. 

 In my case, I moved to Germany in 2016. My husband needed to get more challenges to achieve his studies. At that time, I was working as a researcher in the medical informatics field. Almost I exhausted with overloading as multiplayer. 

 The first view I saw from the window of an airplane getting off at Frankfurt Airport in Germany was a variety of green, rectangular-shaped lawns. It was winter, and it was amazing to see the green scene. Of course, Korean grass turns yellow in winter. But, as I later found out, the German turf was green all year round. And I could see people walking and often stopping to see trees or flowers. Unfortunately, when I was in Korea, I couldn't afford to stop seeing flowers. The green feeling and the appearance of people who enjoy nature remain sincerely as images of Germany.

 After living in Germany for 8 years, I moved to the United States. When I arrived at John F. Kennedy Airport, I was rather impressed by the paintings inside the airport. It consists of 28 panels, 8 x 350 ft, installed above the waiting line for screening for entry into New York. It was made by an artist, Debora Masters, and she expressed relief through her artworks, like a folding screen with a series of pictures. The pictures describe our ordinary living such as dinner, vacation, sport, and family time. In addition, the friendly paintings where the various races gather and enjoy daily life helped to relieve vague anxiety about unfamiliar places. 

My image of America goes back to my childhood and connected to the movie " Back to the future," an American science fiction. The impressive part of the movie was Marty's (Michael J. Fox) house, where the home passed the front yard with the post box, opened the fence, and entered the backyard. There are not many detached houses with yards in Korea, and also, it is a rare sight to see the places with front yards and backyards, so such a scene was interesting. 
Now I live in suburban New York, and I feel some liberty and impression whenever I look around the street's post boxes. The post boxes are different, like colors, shapes, and designs, and it has only kept their rules about the height by post offices' regulations. 
This diversity in life gives me joyful freedom and broadens my view of the world. I wonder if this is the role art is pursuing.

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Walking New York, by Debora Masters, John F. Kennedy airport
The Diversity is a artistic expression by Jaime Chou and Noah Van Blarcom. Diversity can be defined as the quality or state of having many different forms, types or ideas. Diversity is the idea of everyone and everything coming in different shapes, forms, colors and sizes. 
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If there is a wish for me, just as I felt freedom and hope when I saw the mailbox for the first time, I would like my work to convey that diversity to someone.
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Sonnets no. 29 by William Shakespeare

5/17/2021

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Sonnet, Acrylic, 10x 10, 2011 Myungja Anna Koh

  "When in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes, 
I all alone beweep my outcast state, 
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries, 
And look upon myself and curse my fate, 
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, 
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope, 
With what I most enjoy contented least.
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings. "
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                 - Sonnets no. 29 by William Shakespeare

Until I purely find my world and identity in the painting, it was such a person who constantly compares me with other people and laments.
With this depressed and desperate mind, I should always seek what the point of lack by myself is. However, since I couldn't find my true self, I had no choice but to rely on the recognition and praise around me without knowing the true joy of life. After writing so far and looking back to my sentences, it is like a testimony of Christianity. In my experience,  it was like the process of becoming a Christian.

 Anyway, I did love the poem of sonnets no. 29 of Shakespeare, and it gives me comfort and cheer. But I can't understand What Shakespeare was trying to say until I bring that sentence into my life. 

 Above all, there are countless gas lightings around us. Gaslighting is what hinders you from seeing the essence of an object. It keeps you from finding the lark at the door of heaven and keeps you trapped in constant despair and dissatisfaction. 

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that occurs in abusive relationships. The term gaslighting comes from the 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton, known in America as " Angel Street" and later developed into the film " Gas Light" by Alfred Hitchcock. In the suspense film, a manipulative husband tries to make his wife think she is losing her mind by making subtle changes in her environment, including slowly and steadily dimming the flame on a gas lamp. Not only does he disrupt her background and make her believe she is insane, but he also abuses and controls her, cutting her off from family and friends. As a result, she loses her identity as he intended and eventually goes crazy.

In order to live a free life from gaslighting, the emotional process of losing oneself and becoming someone other than oneself is an excellent way to building self-reliance and confidence in defining their reality. 

When I find myself through art and find myself, for the first time, I can understand the sentence " Like to the lark at break of day arising". Even though my reality is shabby and lacking, I don't want to change with anyone. 

Art found reality in the gaslighting surrounding me, made me feel complete, and eventually helped me escape it. 
The gaslighters said to me, incessantly trying to see something happen.
"Everything is your fault, and you are useless. If you don't listen to me, you can't survive." 
 But I believed these strange words until I visited a hospital to care my Thyroid disease.  The hospital is in Germany, the doctor's name is Joseph Gatti. His clinic looked like an art gallery, with many pictures hanging on every wall, and there were some art books and art catalogs on the table. So, by chance, I picked up an art masterpiece of paintings by an artist and started looking at them during the waiting time.  The book says that Nobody is perfect. It is a simple and common word, but it strongly impacted the related paintings. I realized the reality that each other's incomplete entities hurt each other, and I understood my incompleteness and put it down.​ 

What should we do first to protect ourselves from the many gaslighters such as wrong media, content that we act as emotional manipulator from  people sometimes myself and live a happy life like a skylark at the gate of heaven? Perhaps even a few hundred years ago, Shakespeare pondered the matter and came to this conclusion.

​" From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings. "
​

Reference: 
what to do if you're getting gaslighted, First Person, firstperson@vox.com
What is Gaslighting? by Sherri Gordon, reviewed by Amy Morin, LCSW


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Andreas Helmling

5/15/2021

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The town when I have been in Germany, Karlsruhe, is a city in southwestern Germany. It is north of the Black Forest, close to the French border, and is famous for two of the highest federal courts (the Federal Constitutional court and the Federal Court of Justice) and a central hub for science and technology. Also, it has a former weapons factory, now transformed to ZKM center for art and Media. 
You can also recognize eye-catching status made of sharp stainless in front of the main buildings if you visit there. When I was used to going to Ettlinger Tor, the biggest shopping center in Baden-Wuerttemberg. I was interested in the blue sculpture. (In 2011, the status moved from Ettlinger tor Platz to state entrance because of its symbolic value and renovation from the state plan). It is big-sized blue stainless artworks, representing the blue for Europe and describing the symbol for existing and future. I love the color, all kinds of blue. In my opinion, that it is an excellent symbol of the coexistence of the past and future. 

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Kunstwerk von Andreas Helmling Größe zweiteilig, je ca. 15/13/6 m Karlsruhe: Kultur & Tourismus https://m.karlsruhe.de/kunst/db/de/ettlinger_tor.html?kl=0
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Several years later, I had a chance to meet  the sculptor who made the bule status in person during my exhibition. First, he took a picture of one of my works with his manual camera.  The work is one of overcome series and has a blue color with moving like tree branches. Next, he asked me to let the artwork lay down on the floor for a good quality photo. After taking a picture, he introduces me by himself with a soft smile. "My name is Andreas Helmling, an artist and a sculptor." It was the first impression of him.
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When I exhibited my works, the house is called the pumphouse, located in Lauterbourg, France. It is in the countryside that can have a barbeque party and mini-concerts with my guests. We had a barbeque lunch with Korean bulgogi during the shows, and we had meaningful time to talk about each country's culture and foods. 

​In the summer, he invited my family and me with Yujin's family, who performed with piano in my exhibition. When I arrived at his studio, it appears a standard house door, but I was surprised to enter it, that the inside is an unexpected huge size and looks like an industrial car factory. Friendly, he took us to his workspace to show the working process, published books, and masterpieces. Then, he drew the beautiful serving table with wheels for a short break,  which put the homemade desserts and coffees on it. During the coffee time, carefully and sincerely, he advised me, " Some the Koreans I met were full of passion for learning something. They constantly learn and learn very hardly. But please act something right now, don't say to do it after learning. Please, not to hesitate with any worries, unsatisfaction. You do not lack in art, and instead, I wish you could challenge to expand your areas such as furniture, fashion, and other style's art. Do it right now!" 
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Looking back at that time, he was a mentor who affected me to think about the essence of art and how artists act for creativity. 
After moving to New York, I could touch with him by Facebook, and we imaged that he traveled to Long Island and spent summer vacation with family together. He showed me an interest in the Montauk and explained to me some books which described it. But I know that we couldn't keep our promise together forever because he passed by in 2019. 
For a long time, I can't believe it, and if I feel like that, it is not real. Desperately, I wanted that it is not true, but I realized the reality quickly through there is no reply after my message. 
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    ​Some day, I and my friend, Yujin remembered him and his life, that we felt grateful to him. Sadly, we can't see his activities anymore, and it was impossible to exchange regards each other, but we'll remember that the moments he gave us encourage and good motivation. 
Thank you so much and gone from our sight but never from our hearts like an art. 
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Traces of habit

5/14/2021

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Today, my husband called me to show me something in our backyard. He pointed out to a place on the grass and told me, "Anna, here's the place where the rabbits are used to sit. It has a different grass pattern and some exposed soil on it." In our region, rabbits run across homes and yards. Occasionally they make their burrows under the ground, secretly. There is one spot where two rabbits habitually sat down until they deformed the grass under them. As I watched these two rabbits, I recognized that their routine warped the grass and paved it with ample space to sit. 
​
 Which tracing can be the result of my daily practice? 

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PictureDaily Rituals: How Artists Work, Mason Currey
​​In the book Daily Rituals: How Artists Work, Mason Currey investigates the rituals of successful people and how their effects on creativity. These daily routines include making your bed, getting ready for class, or taking a bath at a determined time. Simply speaking, routines are any minor activities in our lives that we repeat daily. An active person has good habits with suitable rituals to manage their time and stick to their long-term plans. Sometimes even simple actions help us get through the day and get motivated. Making our own rules, doing meditation such as Yoga and Pray, and planning a schedule are good examples of the good rituals. 
After I learned from nature, I looked back at my rituals. Every morning, after bringing my daughter to school, I usually walk with my husband for 30 minutes around town. I found that this is an excellent routine for staying healthy and energetic. After seven years of doing this, I realized that neighbors say "good morning" to us, and they are more friendly to us, although we don't recognize them. Not only did this habit improve my health, but it also helped me feel more included in my community. 
If you apply this to art, you find that the function of the routine is similar. For example, a word describes the boring routine in Korean: the squirrel wheel. If the squirrel can imagine by herself that he can put the meaning for the endless repeating, probably he doesn't feel some depression or boredom from the routines. So art is the same as a special ceremony that people can make their life unique and powerful. And also the same as a kind of rewards to give ourselves to endure our routines. 

Art helps us that boring routine change to an enlightened ritual, and it drives our destination to make a mission with great purpose. 

* References: "But is it Art?" by Cynthia Freeland. 
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Though beginning seems humble

5/13/2021

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     Looking back on my memories of the pictures, I could imagine the old Japanese books. My parents had lived in Japan for a long time, and when they had come back to Korea, my father brought the Japanese books. The books had colorful pictures and animations such as landscapes, flowers, and animals. Some part of them, until now I can recall vividly of its shape and colors. However, I couldn't realize the images that it called. Finally, after I became an adult, I found out that it is Uikyo-e style. Drawing along the picture was my favorite works in my daily life during childhood. When I began the first exhibition in Germany, some visitors told me, "I feel that Gogh and Sagal's style is in your paintings." So probably, I suppose that my painting has a trace of some Japanese Ukiyo-e style.

​    When I lived in Germany, I had sights to see various colors. There are specific color spectrums in each country. Mostly I could find the color, which gives some definition with its characters. For example, in Korea, white is the most popular color, and additionally, black, blue, yellow, and red are the five Korean traditional colors. I detected the famous color blue in Germany, and I realized that blue has various spectrums. When I traveled the old german castles, I also could catch in my eyes the blue with green, white, gray, and yellow. Probably, it helped to build my color mixing styles. Also, It was absorbed in my paintings.
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Besser Leben: Farbtherapie (2006) by Pauline Wills (Autor), EVERGREEN
  A book, " Farbtherapie (color therapy, by Pauline Wills)," is announced well about the colors.  Light is color, and the color is light. The colors we can see is not the accurate color, but some wave with different lengths. It is seen only by reactions of hits, absorb and reflect from the light in our nature. And that electric plasma also can express by emotion. All of the features have their electric field, and they can say that it is Aura. And then, we can match each Aura to each color from time to time. Also, we can use some healing methods with the colors. I believed that all of the colors I have seen react to build to my Aura and artworks. Some colors help me to recover the inner side, which needs healing.  More than anything, it was a valuable lesson that I can think over about the colors again.

    Now I am still researching and study what the colors are. The most goal I want to reach is making like Michelangellos's blue. When I was an elementary student, I really eager to learn paintings, and I knew that my mother didn't buy the art books for me, and then I gathered the empty bottles, boxes, and newspapers to get some refund for money. So finally, I purchased the artbooks, which described Michelangelo's. I tried to copy his works, but it was difficult for me because I was only 11 years old. After seeing his masterpiece in the Cappella Sistina in Italy, I figured out why I got inspired by his blues and how difficult it was to explain the color.

​  Color is my eternal work task, and I struggle to express the colors themselves without lights and the spectrums which people can feel something in it. As you know, the beginning always seems humble, and it looks like a tiny sparkle before the big firewood flame. But I always happy that I have a tiny ember I can try something. Mainly, I hope this small ember will brighten someone like a candle.
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A Calendar picture

5/12/2021

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​ Principally Korean says an exciting word for some pictures, and it is called "It's like a calendar picture(Qeugeon dallyeog geulimgata-a)." If someone doesn't feel something extraordinary when they look at the paintings, it's a monotype, lack of character, and hard to figure out who drew it. As usual, people say that it is likely to "A dim a dozen." I want to say that it can compare copying artworks without artists' signature to actual paintings.
 Artist's works have signatures and titles, which means that they can identify as if babies receive their parents' character and names. Also, artworks have aged, and they are getting older like human beings. Additionally, the artists put their passion, desires, and wishes on their works, and then they hope that art lovers live in happiness and wellness. Most of all, they want to look at it anytime and get lots of energy from it. 
 My one of the customer, who bought the overcome's series, told me that she'd like to see this artwork whenever she wakes up in the morning. So I assume that it is giving her some energy to strengthen up weakness. So still now, I sometimes pray for her, that she lives energetic and powerful in her life. 

The picture that artists draw includes their hope, philosophy, and vision. Besides, it is the world that wants to show the public their artistic aspects. Hundertwasser was an Austrian visual artist and architect(1928-2000), strongly recommended to his art collector to carefully preserve his works. He insisted that they should keep the pictures at the proper temperature and humidity with minimal lighting. Sometimes, he called to his customers to ask his artwork's regards, " How is the picture doing?". And then the curators and art collectors did hesitate to receive his calling. 

 In my opinion, caring baby and art holding are the same concepts on this point. Ofen, I liken artwork to the same position that the parents sent their daughter to be a bride. If she meets a beautiful partner and gets married to him, after then, she lives very well for her entire life. It is the same willingness of our parents, and also the same feeling with artists. Frequently I don't want to push to sell my works even if they have some interest in them because I believe that artworks already have their owner. I think that it seems like a destination. And then I can let it down to sell my paintings naturally.

There is a significant crucial in the actual paintings. When I visited the Kunsthaus in Swiss with my family,  we saw a small picture and stopped in front of it for a long time. It drove my soul with sadness, joy, and desire feeling. A curator stands by the image strictly. It was Vincent van Gogh's artwork. Actually, I discovered that people could cry while they look at the artworks. At the moment, I get exceptional experience that it opens the tunnel between the recent and the past, and then we can communicate each other and exchange the feeling together. It was one of my memorable moments about the particular painting.  Therefore, I can tell the differences between copies and reals convincingly. 

 If it has identification such as signature, title, ages,and it's own private stories or if it gives you some unique emotion like sadness, delight, meaningfulness, etc. Also if it can give you some energy or you would like to keep preciously even though you don't know the reason. 

​Conclusively, I decided and spoke myself day after day whenever I sit on my chair to draw it. "Please bless me, encourage me to avoid painting such as calendar pictures. 
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About selling and buying Artworks

4/23/2021

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When I was a little, I drew pictures for my friends from time to time, such as their puppies, birds, and cats. Some friends gave me fifty won (same as 50 cents as us dollar) as rewards. The amount of the price was likely to buy a small kids bread at that time. 
Always I refused to get it from them because I didn't want to receive anything from my little art lovers. But someday, a girl asked me to draw her newborn puppies and gave me fifty won. With a happy smile, she told me, " You deserve to get it because you help me to realize the joy of painting. I am going to hang it in my room." After several days, her mother came to me and returned the painting and claimed to take just the money. She told me, " It is useless."  The girl next to her was crying sadly. I remembered the fragment of my old memories, and I still feel bitter. 

Many times pass, and then I became an artist. Frequently I find a great art lover who knows the invisable value of the artworks. In the first exhibition of New York, I found that a gentleman bought one of my artworks, and he would like to give it as a Christmas gift for his granddaughter. The price was the same as the new iPhone. 
I respect the art lovers, art buyers, and art collectors who have great concern for my artworks. 
Sometimes an artist needs more energy and motivation to overcome their slumps. I assumed that they help so much take a new grip on my tired hands and strengthen my weekend mind.

During the pandemic last year, Mills Pond Gallery, one of my favorite galleries, is cautiously open in person, and then it had an exhibition for encouraging each other. It had a strongly impacted windstorm while the show displayed. Many trees were falling on the street, and the gallery had the same damage. One big tree was broken and blocked the entrance of it. But even though it had hardships to see it, art lovers visited there. I got lots of inspiration from their behavior and could determine my mission for art again. I painted the picture with digital work, and it is named " The way under love". It is my expression and description of my way and deep passion. Historically, pandemics have been relatively rarely represented in the arts. But a great woman bought my picture during disaster, art lovers teach me that there is no difficulty to stop the heart of a person who love an art. 

​Thank you for buying my artworks since 2011. 
Thank you for supporting my art. 
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Like four years old..

4/13/2021

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Last week, I had severe shoulder pain, one of my occupational diseases. Sometimes, when I had chronic pain in my shoulder and couldn't lift anything,  it was hard to wake up. I felt the pain and found that I need to take some rest for further creative activities. 
My artistic activities can be such an enlivening work that it's worth the efforts, but it also follows physical pain and sometimes emotional struggles. 
When I suffered from the pain, my daughter, Celina came to me and told me, "You go see a dentist," and I asked her, "Why should I go to a dental office instead of going to a family doctor's office."
My Celina answered me thoughtfully, " Because the dentist has lots of ice bags."
I realized that children think very creatively and with different aspects, and then I always learn about my four-year-old daughter's artistic attitude. 
Here is the collection of her artworks; enjoy her fantasy world.

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A small bird

4/1/2021

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​  A Small Bird is an adaptation of the traditional Korean pottery style Goryeo Celadon on mulberry paper. Its clear, delicate blue-green glaze characterizes Goryeo Celadon pottery. Its distinctive pattern attributes itself to Sangam, a unique technique of inlaying patterns on the surface of the celadon, which was developed in the mid-12th century Goryeo.
  I depicted surface crack by crumpling a piece of thin mulberry paper. Then, I made the grounding using white acrylic paint. When drawing my bird, I carefully added pressure to the paper, paying close attention to the forces between my finger and the brush.       Mistakes in balancing these forces could make the painting have a cartoon-like aesthetic which I wanted to avoid. Lastly, I populated the background with dried flowers and leaves and poured resin on the surface.
  Balance is the fundamental of meditation, so in essence, I paint through meditation. A Small Bird challenged me as I had to pay special attention to the forces between my fingers, the brush, and the paper. Ultimately, exploring these forces helped me express Goryeo Celadon pottery’s inlaying painting through acrylic techniques. 

(Special Thanks to my son, Minseob, for helping me with editing this post).

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Lee jung seob

10/19/2020

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  War and chaos have plagued the world for a long time. But there was a man that even plaque passed him for his optimistic life. I'm pleased to introduce him. His name is Lee Jung Seob(1916-1956), and one of the famous painter in Korea. He was born in now North Korean region of Pyeongwon, South Pyongan Province in 1916. Lee studied art in high school and, at his age 20, went abroad to Tokyo, Japan, to continue his art studies. His main art subject was an ox. At the time, the ox was something that reminded the Japanese of Korea, an animal that represented Korean people's sentiment. His ox must have meant more than just an animal. 
While studying in Japan, Lee met a young Japanese poet, Yamamoto Masako, and after graduation, they married and moved to the city of Wonsan, South Hamgyeoung Province. They had two sons, Taehyu and Taeseong. Yamamoto took on the Korean name Lee Nam-deok following their marriage in Korea. After returning to his hometown, he and his family faced the Korean War(1950). Lee and Masako fled the violence and economic ruin that enveloped Korea, first moving to Busan in South Korea, then to the island of Jeju. During refugee life in Jeju, he created paintings that portray children playing with crabs and fish, in cheerful colors. Lee's wife later recalled that it was the happiest time for the family, even though they suffered from poverty and wars. They lived in one room with a small kitchen. It was about 4.6 square meters, not enough to stretch their legs while they were sleeping. He also had no money to buy art material and resorted to drawing on the silver foil of cigarette boxes. 
Despite his struggle, war deteriorated everything and forced his wife to go to Japan with their two sons. He set numerous letters to his wife and children hoping that they would soon meet together. During this period, his painting some 160 pages, remain today, and some of them are being exhibited in Lee Jung Seob Museum. 
But poverty proved too big an obstacle for the artist. Aside from one week in 1953, Lee and his family would never be reunited. At this period, his painting was expressed to his despair and depression with gray and dark colors. To make matters worse, he lost his health and had to be frequently hospitalized. Without fulfilling his wish to see his family one last time, he died in September 1956 at the Red Cross Hospital in Seoul. Some days after his death, his friends visited the hospital and found out his passing. They were able to bury him only after paying unpaid hospital bills. 
His life was not a happy ending but nobody could catch the sadness and frustration in his paintings. in 2013, I visited his old house and museum in Jeju island. I got motivation and impression from his passion and artistic life. He seemed me to teach that even war can't stop drawing. There is no obstacle or excuse for continuing our artist's way. 

▲  sources: 
https://arthistoryproject.com/artists/lee-jung-seob/
http://www.jejuweekly.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=5972
http://www.koreaherald.com/common/newsprint.php?ud=2-160606000338
https://www.hapskorea.com/lee-jung-seob-korean-artist-lost-soon/
 
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